Dr Belle de Jour

She is for Real.

I will admid that I had doubts. The blog and books were written and marketed so well that it could have been a professional writer or a prank. Hence, I never took her in my blogroll.

But it seems Dr Belle (Yes, a PhD!) was for real after all.

On the negative side, it seems she outed herself because some newspaper had gotten a tip and was about to break the news anyway. For that, I feel sorry for her. It seems she had preferred anonymity but the papers didnt respect that. Given her extensive writings, and the ruthlessness of the UK press, I'm not surprised.

But her outing brought about some very good (and also the usual negative) comments by some. The original outing-interview is a good read.

And this comment in Newsweek is something I want to recomment to politicians and normal persons alike.

I will not close my eyes to some of the bad things that go on in the paid-for-dateing scene. But Dr Belle (I like that name) is an example of how one woman found "empowerment", rather then degradation. And I know many girls, some of them students and most of them very clever, found "the game" equally liberating as Dr Belle.

If ever "The Right Lady" existed, Dr Belle seems to be Her. Brains, Beauty and Talent.

NB: If you are reading, welcome to my blogroll. And I apologize for my original doubts. Much Respect!

une amante authentique

As a homage to someone very Dear, quite far away.

I never know how to thank you properly, but on the flight out, I came across a few lines from a book that immediately made me think of you.


Inspector Janvier reports to Commisaire Maigret :

Seulement ?
Voila : il y a en elle quelque chose de très féminin, d’émouvant. On la sent très douce, un peu effrayée par la vie, et c’est le genre de femme que un homme a envie de protéger. Vous comprenez ce que je veut dire? Son corps aussi est très féminin, tres …

Then, a few hours later, Inspector Lapointe reports on the same lady.

J’essaie de vous expliquer l’effet qu’elle doit produire sur la plupart des gens. On rencontre parfois, comme ca, un femme qui fait tout de suite penser a …
A quoi ?
On la voit malgré soi se blottir dans les bras de son compagnon, on sent presque sa chaleur. En même temps on sait que elle n’est pour un seul, que c’est une véritable amoureuse, une amante authentique…


Taken from « Les Scrupules de Maigret », by Georges Simenon, 1957.
(I'll finish the book on the return journey)

We should meet again soon!

Prostitution, History, Economy

If "the game" is considered a lage economic (government taxable) activity, then we are only progressing a tradition.

According to this book, The Secret History of Georgian London: How the Wages of Sin Shaped the Capital, prostitution helped shape georgian Londen to quite an important extent.

So was the industry of pleasure following the economic activity, or was it shapeing it ? Maybe the success of an economy is not just due to the work-force, but also due to the "Working Ladies". And tolerating them.

With Thanks to DollyMopp for pointing out the book.


Oh, and before the anti-brigaqde pop in, yes, I do realize it wasnt all fun and glamour then, nor is it all rosey now. But things have changed a lot.

Trains and Trainstations and People

It is well known: I do some of my more creative work-writing and most of my fun-writing (this) on long distance trains.

I enjoy that blissfull detachment, the not-quite-real state, that comes with nomadic work.

Various trainrides are already documented on blogs or boardpostings. And I notably remember the pull (or honeytrap?) of a lady who was alledgedly on her way to a blind-date.

There is the story of the four impeccably dressed (public-) schoolteachers with perfect but artificial sounding RP. They sat "discreetly" discussing school matters across the isle in the quiet coach. And they strongly dissaproved of my mobile that kept going off (some of you know that my ringtones can be a bit adventurous).

There was also the girl who dumped her boyfriend with one phonecall between Kx and Leeds. She took the whole train journey to do it. And the complete coach could listen in. Good riddance, and I hope the bloke learned a lesson. That girl, by the way, is not likely to make a good escort Lady: Too indecisive and too chatty. She would make a good timewaster though.

But now I am sitting in a waiting-lounge, awaiting a delayed connecting train. I wonder how many fellow travellers are also picking up the nexecwifi and surfing the net.

Next to me is a completely bland, very boring couple in their 30s. They seem like one of those newly formed pairs, still ill at ease with one-another. They may have met via the internet and now had their first skinny-frappuchino together. I can just imagine him mailing: "I will be wearing a long dark-blue coat, green corduroy trousers with brown shoes and have "The Times" under my left arm." Next time, she can also recognize him from the non-matching blue-ish socks. Probably not just Socks, but M&S socks.

"Him" is a not-yet-restyled "Man from platform 5" and "Her" looks like a Guardian reader who is into knitting, pottery and watercolour paintings. They both really need an appointment with Trinny and Susannah.
The couple are gravely occupied on two separate discussions about their mental health and family related issues. They are both speaking at a careful, somewhat tense but completely flat tone and each fully focussed on their own topic. Still loud enough so at least 10 people in earshot have to listen.

He is awkwardly escorting her to her departure and I hope she goes on a different train then I do.


Heeeelp, I'm a naughty blogger, get me out of here!

Punternet Responses to Harriet Harman

Harriet Harman, an English cabinet minister, claimed that she has asked California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger to shut down a well known website about prostitution, mainly focussed on the UK.

I am not going to waste too much time typing on this topic. The reactions from the participants speak for themselves.


Check the "Open Letter" and the Press release from Galahad and read the "Message(s) from the Ladies".

Take your time, read the whole lot if you can (and there was quite a number of Good Responses when I last checked).

I can especially recommend the reactions from Laura Lee, from CatherineIUSW, from Dollymopp, and from Melanie.

Now go do your own research, and form your own opinion.

Btw: does anyone know if Arnie has reacted in any way ?

Debate on Escorting

The debate is on again: Julie Bindel versus the pimps (as she seems to perceive her opponents as pimps...).

Mind you, I am in favour of combatting exploitation, and protecting innocent victims,
cockle fishers and other trafficked humans.
But as I've stated on earlier blogs, I do not think the Escorting scene is the place to fight that battle.

Read the sweet-sour reaction from Amanda who witnessed the debate with Julie.

Check this very good blog-post here by Laura, and an equally brilliant reply by BurlesqueHoney (I have to find an online version of that 1937 speech...) The reactions of Julie Bindel in the comment-debate speaks for itself, I think.

And then there is the last burp by Harriet Harman. This seems more of a cheap-propaganda-stunt to me: she gets some extra press using the P-word and doing an equality-grandstand for oppressed female bankers. Me, I'm apalled to learn that female Sun-p3 models get paid more then their male colleagues. I wish HH would do something about that.

But, as a tired old man, I am also thinking: Should we care ?
I remeber the same sort of debate going on in 2008 when the criminalisastion of clients was discussed in the UK press.

From reactions then and now, I must conclude that, for me, this is not a battle worth fighting. The arguments are religious (from both sides, I presume) and any attempt to instill objectivity or science or anything else will not work anymore. Everyone (including me?) is too entrenched in their own position.

The religious aspect of the debate makes me sad. It means we are at the mercy of wherever the current moral winds blow.

The "moral majority" will generally come out on top, and the participants in pay-4-play will be pushed into the a-moral low ground. Funny enough, while condemning the bizz of selling plearsure for money, a lot of representatives of the moral majority (clergy, high-end politicians) are on the game big time themselves (insert your favorite example of a politician using escorts).

But I will not discourage debate. As with the crusades, I will acknowledge that those who undertake the expedition might come back, probably not with lasting victory, but at least with a wealth of experience.

As for "Prostitution", Dollymopp once summed it up nicely: "We are all prostitutes, I just make more money then you do."

In my opinion, there will always be forms of prostitution. Is a trophy wife being exploited? or is she preying on the male? Is a boob-flashing saleswomen being exploited or is the buyer being taken for a ride? Is the suger-daddy exploiting the girl or vice versa ? Is my regular exploiting me or are we just on a well-arranged date where I help with the cost of living ?

How can JulieB and HH every really come between two consenting adults ?
Did they really took the effort to listen to some of the more mature, independent Ladies in this business ?

But let me just instill a few rays of hope here: Not all Feminists are Anti.
Have a look at this paper and this summary here. There are reasonable Feminists, you just have to look for them.


And furthermore, many Ladies that have been branded as prostitutes or courtesans in their times, were hugely liberated, free spirits.

---

Many of them could rightfully sign their emails with the pretentious title such as "Global Thought Leader on Female Liberation"
(of course they didnt have email then, and these ladies were generally much more discrete - I'm just having a poke at some pretentious real-life empty-shell from the office)

---

We can take consolation in the fact that most of the Courtesans on that list had a bigger impact on history then Julie or Harriet.


Couldnt resist one more Feminist link I stumbled across...



Happy reading.

Women that are never wrong

Very nearly I missed it: the FT list of the worlds 50 most powerful Women in Business (no silly, that other business, what civilians call "the real world").

Luckily, Lucy Kellaway drew my attention to it this morning.

Now, to draw the disucssion into "this business", I know a few Lady Bosses who run Agencies. And They tend to fall into the category of gentle friendly, and emphatic mums-next-door (e.g. good listeners; until you have made a decision and revealed your hotelroom). But they are also visciously Stubborn and are definitely "Always Right" (no way one can contradict them!). And that would put them right in with the two examples mentioned by Lucy: Hard Driving, Ruthless bullies that will get their way. End of.

Admittedly, the Lady-Bosses with hands on experience, the ones I had the pleasure of meeting on a date, have proven to be Excellent Companions.

It is not my cuppa, but is the future to the Dommes ?

Frank! There is a miss Whiplash for you on line 3...