Friday, 2 March 2007

Would you want that ?

First the classic

The topic of he-fell-for-her has been discussed in many places, boards and blogs. see for example this on NEE and this blog-entry by Joanne

At least two ladies I know have broken off "business" relationships with regulars after the guy fell for them. Several others have had stalker-problems from clients who had developed "feelings", and I'm sure most of you must have seen or heard similar stories.

I think such a clean break is rather responsible behavior, and is the right thing to do for both parties. Respect to the Ladies for that.

Other ladies have been known to first "exploit" the fellow before dropping him anyway. After Having seen/heard this, I do have a bit of a cynical view on (some) Escorts.
With Apologies to all you decent Ladies out there. But I always force myself to assume that for Her, it is Just Business. No matter how close we seem to get. So punters beware... Your feeling may be genuine, but She must be assumed to be a Good Actor (and Good Actors can still provide Exceptional Service and good VFM!). (insert link to various warnings... noto, punternet). For an extreme and classic case: Google for Harriette Wilson (Thx to MM for this pointer).

You would not want to get into trouble like that.

Now the other way round

Nia came up with a different variety: Lady-falls-for-client.
And some good discussion was sparked off there. This topic must have been run on some boards as well? More Pointers anyone ?

As a punter/client, It would first scare the bejeepers out of me if an Escort would appear to develop real "feelings" for me. Given that "normal" relationships are already complicated and often end with problems (my own incapability, I'm sure), the risk of a relationship with a Courtesan is huge.

Pretentious remark: "It really is a THIN LINE between LOVE and HATE".

And if things go pear-shaped, the Lady holds much more power over you then vice-versa, especially if you still have a normal working life, or should you want to take up a "conventional" relationship again (one should never give up Hope...).

But I am a vain person, after all. And I am often Lonely, hence Vulnerable.

And some of my regulars are true Personalities. Independent minds, Intelligent brains, Experienced (in Life, not just in bedroom mechanics), some are Very Determined, and most seem quite Balanced persons. All this gives them a strong Attraction-factor, hence the regular status. It would be a huge compliment if one of those really liked me for just-me, for my mind, my (fake and often misplaced) humor, rather then for this thing in my pocket (mine is not that bulging) or for the drinks (red, white or juice, the Lady can choose, and room-service delivers whatever is available).

Quality Ladies are Very Good Actors, Artists. They come very close to giving the impression. Only the fact they still take payment, and that overruns are not becoming extreme, tells me it still is business. Unspoken Mates-Rates, possibly, but still business.

So there you have it: I have the silent desire that I could, at some point in time, develop a true relationship with an Escort-Lady, or at least with a partner who has the same Experience and Personality.

After all, when you have tasted (no pun intended - well...) some truly Excellent Courtesans, you become spoiled. The real-world GFE, the one that requires lots of time, emotion dedication and hard work (not to mention even more money), those relationships can be a bit frustrating and cumbersome in comparison to the Quality Services that some Ladies provide.

Maybe Escorts should carry a warning sign: "This Lady is Dangerously Addictive".

Has this turned into a lonely-hearts Advert?

My conclusion (so far):
I still think Good Escorting (should we call it Courtesanhip, Companionship?) is an Art and the Ladies are Artists.

But this art can also be a Drug to the User.

You do not want to become too addicted - but for me, it may be too late already...


Joanne said...

Hi Ptr,

I agree with what you say, and have already outlined some of these points when I talked about boundaries, however............ I have several clients of whom I am very fond.

I have a client in a North Yorkshire town who I started seeing at the beginning of my time as a working girl. He was working back then and is now retired. I see him in his home about twice a month. This man is very fond of me. he tells me I am precious to him, and I have no doubt about his sincerity. He is married and loves his wife, but has a place for me there too.
I am fond of him. We get along like a house on fire and we always have a great laugh together. This man has the utmost respect for me as a woman and would never dream of crossing the line. There is no need for me to behave in a professional way, as I don't feel it's necessary. He gets me the real person and that does for him.

I have other clients I am equally fond of. One in particular crossed the line after four years by asking me out. That was a shame, and because the dynamics had changed I would not see him anymore. He was hurt and retaliated by seeing another working girl and wrote a field report on her stating she was the best ever for him, so I was right in my instincts and not seeing him any more.

Ptr_leeds said...

Thanks for the revealing comments Jo.

And keep writing. I do enjoy reading your comments and blogs.

James B. Logwriter said...

Surely the obvious solution is for the guy and the girl to discuss these issues and determine what each is seeking from the relationship or transaction. Or is it too much like pulling away the curtain and revealing the Wizard of Oz? Or is it that too many men cannot handle possible rejection?

Joanne said...

Or just the mere thought of it James?

Ptr_leeds said...

Jo, James,
Sometimes the obvious needs to be pointed out.

Nymphalidae said...

I think it's unfair to generalize. I am in a relationship with a former client and there is no acting involved on my part. We love each other and deal with things as they come along.

Ptr_leeds said...


That is a lovely story.
Wish you two all the best.