This item was triggered by a blog at Nia's with the title "recommendations".
I have had good and less-good recommendations. And I think I know how to distinguish them now.
Recommendations by Agents: Ooops.
Recommendations by agents and receptionists are tricky. But you cannot blame the agent for that.
Let us assume that you, the client, have done your research and you have made a shortlist of Ladies before placing the call.
NB: You should also have verified the "availability calendar" if there is one, and you should refrain from asking for Ladies who are not available on that day. You don't want the agent to pressure them into working on their planned day off.
So what will occur if none of the Ladies on your list are available?
An agent, even (especially?) a good agent, will always try to drum up business for whoever is available. We must respect that: it is his natural behavior. It is in the interest of his business to retain your custom. He doesn't want to loose you
to another provider. And he needs to keep all his Ladies busy. Hence, the Agent will always recommend someone. This is why, when calling an agent, the client should have a shortlist, and should not deviate from the list. You may even find that one of the Ladies you asked for suddenly becomes available.
It has happened, in the "sperm-of-the-moment" *), that an agent convinced me to deviate from my shortlist. In almost all of those cases, I have been slightly disappointed. The resulting dates were not "bad", but they were possibly not as good as they could have been.
The main key is to have your list, and stick with it. Do not despair, you can always come back at a later date. In some cases it has taken me 6 months or more before I could land a date with a Lady I was aiming for.
Recommendations by Ladies: YES !
When you know a Lady well and she is confident enough to recommend an other Lady, that tends to result in Extremely Satisfying dates.
When meeting the recommended Lady, it helps the "trust" from both parties to know that there is a common link (the referring Lady). Hence, I'm in favor of recommendations, but only from "known" and "trustworthy" Ladies.
On occasions where the recommended Lady suited my profile, I have followed recommendations from both Indies and Agency-Ladies. And all of those have resulted in above-average dates.
The next date with the original, recommending Lady will also be good; I'm grateful for a good tip, and the girls will likely have exchanged their experiences as well. They probably had a good giggle in the health-spa or while walking their puppies together. These "good" recommendations tend to strengthen the bond, and increase the quality of the dates.
A big Thanks to all you Ladies!
*) the term "sperm-of-the-moment" comes from either Nia, or a blog I found via her list. It just sounded too good not to use it. Thx!
Tuesday, 24 April 2007
Thursday, 19 April 2007
Joanne had these very good points on keeping records.
On Discretion, I have gotten fairly paranoid. Especially after a few near-incidents and after seeing snippets of information (true or false?) about others appear on a public-readable board followed by at least one case of mis-interpretation and mis-ASS-umption.
Via various incidents and accidents I have noticed that some Agents and Ladies do keep a lot of data on clients, including on me - [grin].
Advice to both the Lady and the John: Think it over once more, right now!
Any information that should remain confidential: Do not Mention It. Don't even hint at it, and Never mail it down. Even with a Lady whom you (currently) trust, and who has no bad intentions at all. She can store or divulge information that may compromise you in a far distant future. Think about it: The people you trust who can do most damage: they know more.
Notes can get mislaid (no pun) and Laptops get stolen or recycled - often to schoolkids.
Warning Note on keeping files:
You will hardly believe what my techie-savvy-nerdy colleagues have sometimes left on the laptops that I get to use (They would probably deny it, or accuse me of a setup).
Anyway, after a quick look (I am curious ;-) ) instead of keeping it for future blackmail, I always wipe the lot. Mainly for my own security. I'm definitely too chicken to carry it across any border (Actually, someone may well have tried to set me up - is that a twisted thought or what...).
And these same IT-itchers tell me to always start secure network-stuff when connecting, and to store all work-files on the encrypted drive for seventy-seven certifiable and ninety-nine BlSht-compliance reasons.
Back to topic: Trust No One. That motto applies very much to the world of pre-arranged dating. Many things are not what they appear. And someone's truth is out there.
People get drunk - even brits,
people have jealous partners/punters/stalkers,
people get passionate over snippets of (false) information.
People come under pressure, or people simply fall out.
People can get manipulated and (ab)used in other games,
people are just collateral or bargain-chip.
People get desparate and do funny things.
And most important: people change and so does their opinion over time.
Nuf Said. Everyone can think for themselves now.
Monday, 16 April 2007
There was a mild criticism on the "scriptedness" of dates on an x-north topic.
nb: It became quite a topic indeed, covering many aspects of the industry but I'll focus on "scripts" here.
There is a bit of a negative connotation to "scripts" for a date, as it can turn into a quite mechanical set of phases to go through. But if well prepared and done well, some scripted moments are not necesarily negative.
Personally, I have a rigourous script for myself to help me in the run-up to a date.
My preparation and waiting-routine is relatively well documented on earlier blog-entries. The checklist (I dont see it as a script) has helped me to improve the quality of my dates.
On the actual date, the flow should be as natural as possible and should be the responsebility of both persons involved. The main key for both parties is to look and listen to the other person. What suits him/her best ?
However, especially on the first meeting with a Lady, or in the case of Escorting-virgins, there may be some stages you have to go through. It is here that both Ladies and Clients might benefit from some preparation. A few icebreakers can really help a date. Call it scripted if you want, but usefull it is.
So here are a few of my script-items:
There is the look-and-sniff phase:
what does he/she look like ? Is the other Giddy ? Confident? icy-beauty? Girl-Next-Door? Hot ?
Guys: dont start groping in this phase, it wouldnt be polite, and might "crisp" the Lady.
Ladies: some guys like a brief touch, a light embrace at the start of the meeting, show him your tender, caring but physically-hot side. And wet his appetite.
In this phase, the Lady will generally strike up some smalltalk like: The driver got lost. He is now sooo embarrased. He nearly got angry with me. It is not my fault is it ? This could signal: he is in an even worse mood then normal. It wil extract some pity (tip) from the client, and install the fear for the mean and heavy driver who, incidentally, needs payment too and will certainly come bouncing in when you overrun.
Note: This is not a pop-at-the-driver, I know most drivers are very professional. But the Ladies often use the driver-item to strike up conversation. And it can serve various purposes, notably to show the john that she is not alone.
In the same initial phase, there is one Important item for the client: Have the Enve£ope ready, visible, and hand it over early. If she has to ask for it, you have lost an important opportunity to smoothen the Date. To some Ladies, the "revenue" part is Very Vital. She may need that money badly, and having it in pocket can be a major reassurance.
Also important: show her the bathroom where she can have some privacy. She may want to recompose after the horrible experience of organizing/fending-off the driver, Rushing out on the previous john, making it on time, bluffing her way into the hotel and finding the room (some hotels are niche mazes where you can get right lost).
While you, the client, were sitting in you comfy hotel-room, doing your petty-perparations, this Lady may have already gone through quite a hassle before being able to knock on your door. Give ther time to relax.
If possible, sit her down and offer a drink or snack (attention girls: safety!).
The client can further break the ice here by offering compliments or gentle remarks:
Wow, I love your sparkling eyes / dimple-in-chin / hairdo / boobjob / sexy boots/shoes.
Or the more cheesy one:
Ooh, You are so gorgeous (impressed, sad, lonely sigh), you must have guys staring at you all the time. Mind if I just look for a minute... ? Of course you do NOT stare at her boobs for a full minute, that would be awkward for both. Look coyly into her eyes, and see if she starts smiling too...
In the next stage you establish the rules-of-engagement.
Tell eachother that, hey, she should Not do anything that she is not Completely Comfortable with. Her No = No. Show her where she can put her bag and clothes if she chooses to undress, and warn her not to loose those exquisite earrings in the carpet (yep...) and not to misplace any items she cannot afford to forget (had a lovely but panicked Lady return at 02:30 to pick up very personal necklace once. And for another Lovely Doddle, I carried a certain trinket with me for 6 months - Airport security found it three times, and I kept joking to please not tell my wife, as it is for my girlfriend, and it was).
Generally I will tell the Lady that she is just as much in control of the meeting as I am, probably more, as she is generally more experienced ;-). And I want her to be completely at ease: Do not hesitate to tell me what you like and what you do not like, so I can avoid mistakes. And try me by saying "no" at some point. I'll do likewise when you start biting me in sensitive places.
The rest of the session really should be between "consenting adults". And from this point on, any script should be abandoned in favour of spontaneous flow, until the timer (or driver) sounds to signify the end of the date.
If the "consenting adults" part runs a bit "scripted", well, there are two people involved. And you should both be capable of directing the flow towards what you think the other enjoys. In case of doubt: look sweetly at the eyes.
One gimmick I sometimes use to get closer is to take the Lady in my arms and "twirl" her around the room: She may scream, but it will break the ice (this trick of mine is now so well known that Ladies are actually joke about it on boards, I guess the surprise-effect is now over...)
Note: Anyone done research on "meeting new people" yet ? Any good links ?
Do any of the recent books cover this "icebreaking" topic ?
Friday, 6 April 2007
Careful: This will always remain a tricky subject.
And remember: I only do this as a hobby. I'm not telling anyone how to go about their business (wouldn't dare).
Update: as the Lovable Livvy picked up this discussion so nicely, I have since added some more ramblings on this topic in a Further Post. Maybe we should do a roundtable on this sometime.
The Indy-theme: This is the perfect occasion to display one of my all-time-favorite secret-crush actresses. Karen Allen in the role of Marion Raven, she was the only character that was ever worthy to be Indy's counterpart.
More to the punting-point : Joanne had a distinct opinion on Pimps, and who am I to disagree with Her Eminence. I also recall some strong pro-indie opinions on X-North, but I was not able to locate the topic anymore. It may be in the restricted area.
Well, I did disagree with some of the reasoning, and had a load of arguments ready to turn into this blog-entry some day.
Then someone asked this question on HERE and I felt the need to bite the bait. Given some earlier discussions, I suspect he did it on purpose. So here I go, hook, line, sinker... (gulp). Some more Interesting opinions popped up here as well.
When I started using the services of this Industry, I also had a preference for Indies. My reasoning was similar to Jo's: no middle-man, more benefit for the Lady, and possibly a better service. I was also hoping Indies would maybe have more Personality, more "Punch". Over time, I discovered that the quality, the enjoyment, could be equally good with both Indies and Agency-Ladies.
After a number of repeat-dates with both Indie and agency-ladies, I have met girls who are comfortable in either situation. Some are born-independents, some are more comfortable with an agent. Some girls use both. All are happy.
There are many arguments either way.
Feel free to point out more interesting background material. As I'm sure, this topic has been treated better elsewhere, but as I'm now writing offline, and I have to go by seat-of-the-pants (wating-area seats, bloody hard plastic too ...).
I welcome some contradictionary views, as long as they are sensibly (or entertaingly) argumented.
And whatever you read into it: Take it all with a grain of Salt. Rocksalt. Thx.
Now I've found the fedora hat, but where did I put that whip ?
Anyway, Happy Holidays All, and go easy on the Easter Bunny!
Wednesday, 4 April 2007
She made it.
First you did all the preparation,
then you sat through the looong wait,
and you may have tolerated the minute by minute updates form the Lady/Agent while she paid for exactly 60 min of parking (Just Have to get back to my car, traffic wardens are very strict here...).
And then She Knocked.
First there is mild panic. You close all irrelevant browsers on your laptop to hide any indecent images, especially from competing Ladies/agents. But keep Her Best Page prominently visible. Take one last good look around the room, and (try to) calmly and slowly walk to the door (heartrate in throat at 160, hands thrembling, Jitters ... !). Slowly.
Dont stumble, dont knock over chairs. Breathe Deeeeply.
You get the picture:
Even after a whole string of similar dates and after careful study of the profile of this Lady, you are still dead curious who is wating on the other side. Will it be the Lady from the Pictures, will she have changed hair-color, what will her eyes look like... And even if she is a "regular", you are still curious to see what mood she is in Today, or which new (un)dress-gizmo she has recently discovered. Some Ladies love to show off new items - maybe they would like me to come shopping with them some day ... ?
One particular regular Always wants to show off some new item altough I keep telling her that I invite Her, She, the Lady herself, and not the boots, the teddy, or the wardrobe - I could hardly care less.
But awth, It makes her Happy, and She is the Dearest, the Sweetest, the Loveliest....
Luv U 4 it Dear - xXx!
Oops. Got carried away. back to "the knock".
Be Careful. It may not be what you expect. It could be the plumming-maintenance-guy investigating the water that runs down the ceiling next door. He may want to dissasemble part of your bathroom to inspect "last weeks rush job by those cowboys...". Sure, but I'm expecting a Visitor.
Hence, always use the spyhole.
The spyhole in the door can also be good for a laugh. Most Ladies know about it, and some will mockingly pose as Marilyn after the knock. Other will put their face in closeup to the viewer, trying to surprise you. And Joanne had a nice anecdote on the spyhole here. Let me re-assure you: I dont do use the spyhole in that way.
Some Playful lady tends to jokingly put a finger over the spyhole: Please dont. Even as a "known" date, You might have your "could-be-ex-SAS" driver around the corner. Or half your neighborhood pub, ready to say: "Cheers Mate - Nice to meet you".
And it has happened:
The Maitre-d'Hotel who politely offers his Sincere Apologies, sir, on behalf of the staff. For the late delivery of my order. Because "Roomservice is very busy today."
"Is Everything OK with the order?" And of course he is genuinly sorry, but unfortunately they were out of my favorite Nachos.
Yes, I had noticed. No, it is not a poblem, I'll gladly accept the crisps instead.
And yes, I am grateful for their policy to wave the charge, as the delivery was outside the promised 45 minute window. I only had to call 4 times but the staff are very polite. Thank You.
I'm sure he was pulling my leg there! But I hope they all had a good look at the
discreetly dressed but oh-so stunning Lady that walked in 2 minutes later.
All good sports, and I can smile now...