Wednesday, 12 September 2007

The Right Lady

Well, Are You ?

Between myself and a few other Bloggers (Olivia, Chevalier, Nia) we seemed to have coined a new TLA (Three Letter Acronym): TRL - The Right Lady.

Originally, I thought I'd use the term "The Righ Lady" to describe my ideal Companion, my preferred type of P4P Provider, my DreamDate.
My selfish intention was to describe The Right Lady - for me. I wanted to advertise my own preferences, and hope some future date would play along and provide exactly that illusion.
NB: I'm no saint, I will publish my specification for TRL - but later.
However, Before embarking on my trip of self-indulgence, I want to give some thought to the Ladies...

The Right Lady - for the job

This was sparked mainly by snippets and posts from Nia (here) who got an inquiry from a hestitating would-be Escort, Chevalier (here) who seems to share my preferences, Joanne (here) who pointedly listed what a proper Working Girl should be capable of, and Livvy (here).
The topic was furter helped by discussions with Sue (diary here), and two other Very Special Ladies, whom I suspect have indeed all the hands-on experience they claim to have (including some proper experience in normal, civilian, life as well). The final push to write this all down then came from this blog by CollegeCallGirl.

Whether the account of CCG is true or fiction, it is good reading and contains some interesting clues. Please Go read it.

So to open the discussion, my statement would be:

Yes, Escorting is the new Temp job

But not for everybody!

Many girls and women seem to want to "give it a try" or "go on the game". Some agencies advertize for students: "Leave Uni Debt Free".

I will immediately state that I am quite reluctant myself to see Student-Escorts. Some of them that I met were too "cold" and too "tense". Possibly from lack of experience, possibly impressed by someone 20 years older. So my first instinct is to disadvise this job for Students. My very best Escort Dates were mostly with slightly more experienced (mature) women who were fully confident and grounded in life and in a regular job. But that is based on my own experience.

I do not feel qualified to tell anyone if it is a good idea Yes or No.

I can only point out some things I see, and hope everyone will then make their own choice and then gain happiness through that.

Please note that I dont want to be seen to glamourize the job in any way. I know many women come to it in despair, some thrive, and some suffer (hey, almost like office life).
It is the suffering I want to prevent.

Also, I do not want to even comment on "the street scene" or on the sleezier side of the parlour-trade or even on the fact that some agencies are "controlled" or simply are bullies. Too much nastiness there, and I would just tell everyone to avoid it if they come across it. Try not to waste your talent and try not to spend your good money on bad providers. Don't encourage bad-business.

Some Good Pointers HereNow for those who still consider a career as an Escort, I would suggest to go and do research.

In earlier posts I've mentioned and Go read those, follow their links, and digest the information. You can use the logos on the right to find them.

IUSW supporterI recommend you read This post by CollegeCallGirl, and ask yourself:
Would you run the same risks ?
Would you do it differently ?
Can you do it differently ?

I also want to share the thoughts of two relatively mature working Ladies whom I have seen multiple times. The are approximately my age and both have teenage kids. In response to my question: "Would you condone your kids to do it?", they both hestitated and their final replies tended to be "No", or at least not out of necessity and preferably not at a Uni-age.
Main reasons were the risk to health, both physically ("Not all customers are nice") but especially mentally. As one said: "This job can really do your head in."

This activity is not for the faint-hearted, but you already knew that. If you think you are one of those suitable Personalities and you are determined to give it a go, I would advise you to seek a few more things:

Find a confidante who can act as a coach and a shoulder. Preferably a Lady who has been there and done that. Someone you can run to after a bad date. Someone who will not judge you, or lecture you.

Note: one now-experienced Lady started in the job by calling a few local "indies" just to sound them out, talk to them. She was very grateful for their advice (Ladies who get flooded with calls: please dont blame me).
If, when making those calls, you get bitched at for wasting the womans time, or for adding more competition in a full field: Welcome to the world of Escorting. Don't worry and don't give up. There are other, more confident Ladies out there who are willing and able to help you.

Note: Good agents will provide someone like this. Often the owner-operator is an ex WL, sometimes they have a few experienced ladies whom you can call on. There are disadvantages of having your confidante too closely linked to (dependent on?) your agent, but it is a good start.

Get acquainted with the legal side and the Tax implications. Both IUSW and SAAFE provide useful links, and it is actually more simple then you think. To stay within the (UK) law (and taxes...) you must become self-employed for this part of your earnings. It may well be your first "venture", and can be an interesting (business-) learning experience as well. It may seem like a bit of a hassle, but you are much safer when you operate above-board. If only because you cannot get "busted" by the taxman. One less thing to worry about.
Note: some agents will request you explicitly to go "above board". They will request you sign a statement whereby you acknowledge your self-employed status. If an agent has his own paperwork in order, that might just be a sign they are Serious.

Right. Time to stop my paternalizing.
If you still consider this line of work, re-read from the start, follow the links, and think one more time.

If you decide to take the step: Good Luck!
And we might meet on a date sometime.

Addition on 17 Oct 2007:

The "Belle-de-Jour and Billy Piper" show did generate quite some interest in this very topic.

Could you go Escorting?

Some interesting discussions popped up Here on Punternet and here on the Sheffield Scene.

If you think you are "The Right Lady" and considering a career in this business: Go check them.

Footnote: My main motivation for writing this post (actually: for the entire blog) is rather selfish: I prefer to meet Ladies who are happy with their choices, comfortable in their job, and who are capable of providing a few hours of Truly Nice company, including possibly something very beautiful that may happen,
and which only can happen between truly Consenting, Confident and Comfortable adults.


Anonymous said...

Ptr, I take your point on maturity but to be fair that may have less to do with age than is obvious. I had a date with a younger lady (<22) a short while ago and we got on much better than I had expected. She also taught this old dog some new tricks! I more recently saw a lady with more experience (>30) and the evening flew by as we had much to talk about. I suspect that it may depend on the lady's own preference for older/younger men and her own self-sense, rather than just age itself. In addition, using the same agaency means the patron is aware of my character and has steered me clear of a couple of his ladies because he feels the chemistry would not work.
Good post, as always

SimplyAlexa said...

TRL - love it! How about TRM?


Ptr_leeds said...

Indeed, agree with most of what you say. And I have met one particularly "mature" 19 year old studente myself who was Very Experienced and an excellent date. She had grown up very rapidly tho.

TRM: isnt that something You should be writing ?
And there have been repeated but rather cynical comments on TRP or TRC, mostly to do with bank-accounts and wallets tho.

SimplyAlexa said...

TRM - now you really want me to write about that? Hum, you think I know something on that topic? :-)) You devil you, you just want me to write something juicy...



Ptr_leeds said...


There are a few blogger-Ladies whom I'd trust to write about TRM, TRD (-Date) or related subjects.

And you are one of them - transition or not.

(ptr humbly makes room for Experience ...)

Ciao Bellissima !

oh, you're added to the linklist.
(make my popup blocker earn its keep tho)

SimplyAlexa said...

blush, knocking my feet flatter me. I do not believe I could truly write such a tale about the right man...unless I'm talking about the one for me. Hum, maybe I could do in in general...

You put me up to a task and I run with it...going to make that pop up blocker spin out of control. ;-))

a dopo!

Joanne said...

The truth is, the client will never know how happy the lady is either in seeing him or with her own life. A true professional can set her private life aside and be happy for the time you are together and then return to deal with whatever it is that is causing her unhappiness. I know because for the past year and a half I have been doing this.

Ptr_leeds said...

Thanks for the comment Joanne.
That is a good Reality Check.

Allow me to wish you all the very Best!

And I hope to see you around here from time 2 time.

Joanne said...

I am rectifying this state Peter! From now on I am always going to be TRL........... :)

Ptr_leeds said...

Way to go Jo!

You Rock Babe.
Show em Girl, You Rock.

(ptr pushing Joanne on stage, catsuit and all, while curtain opens for next act ...)

Ptr_leeds said...

Speechless in Newcastle.

(I'm actually sitting on the Quayside with a view of the Baltic, the HH and the Millenium Bridge writing this ;-)

Reason for being simply speechless is Alexa, she does know how to Pop(up) a surprise.

So let me give credit where credit is due. Alexa wrote this post
about the Ultimate Man.

It is a work of Art!

Signora, li Saluto.
Possiamo venire a contatto di in Toscana.

I'm speechless for the next couple of Days so dont expect too much from me in reply. I am working on my own work of art, to be delivered in a different industry.
Therefore my weblog- and Posting productivity will be low these weeks.

But let me at least pay proper tribute to my Muses of the last weeks, who all come close to what I consider TRLs: Hollie, Elixabeth and Katie. They provided the Spring in my step, and the Inspration I needed.

I can only guess who provided the Inspiration for Alexa.

SimplyAlexa said...

Alexa has been found….Lost in Leeds Wonderland…having met his challenge...wondering what topic to write about…that kitchen is still in her wandering mind…

Veramente sono senza parole! Non riesco nemmeno a mettere i miei pensieri insieme, in qualche ordine che farebbero un po di senso…

You honor me Mr. Leeds, there is only one thing a true Lady can do, and that, is to graciously, very graciously,

Thank You. ;-) (blushing still….)

Saro in paradiso per piu di un mese e poi se tu trovi il tempo di fare un “salto” per le strade di Toscana, fammi sapere! Prendiamo un caffe. :-)))

Ciao, ciao - Alexa

The English Courtesan said...

What an honour to be considered a part of the coining Ptrrrrrrrrrr and thank you!

These are such interesting points and yes, I have to admit that if I had a daughter I wouldn't want her choosing this path. It's not that I'm not happy doing what I do and I defend my right to this choice but when it comes to children I think we want them to have the best of everything.

I couldn't agree more too that you need a certain personality to survive and although I'm not sure about the benefits of mentoring, I do think that an awareness of legalities and tax is crucial.

Hmmmm...interesting reading as ever, young Ptrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Purring and pouting at your perfection,

Livvy xxx

PCPro said...

Have spent almost a full morning reading through this blog though not following up all the links in truth. It has been thought-provoking and a rewarding experience and I thank you, very much. I hope you can keep it up mate! ;-)
One thing that struck me was the loneliness of the punter, the advice for new escorts to seek a mentor might be easier said than done given the competitive nature of the business however, this must be near impossible for a new punter.
This blog, others like it and the forums, like Punternet's, help a lot but how dearly I want to share a beer with a mate to mull over a few punting issues rather than sit isolated in the big and small hours in front of a PC.
Poor me? Nah, I'm sure I have enough about me to survive the occasional bad punt and the traps of getting too close.
You're doing a grand job PTR to show it's not all that grim oop north and I'm just loving the links and contributions from some excellent ladies.

Ptr_leeds said...


Thank you for the comments.

My favorite Ladies can testify that I have no problems keeping it up. But I'm not sure if I can keep up the writing at the rate I did last year. Part of the next two months involves less-favorable locations, less train-rides,
and more time stuck-in-traffic in low-rent cars (speaking of loneliness...).

The first purpose of the blog was: Fun, jokes, an outlet, a bit of bragging. And in part to cut loose from some heavy-moderated local NE boards that would not allow inter-links beteeen good, sensible and fun discussions.
The additional functions of "information" and the possible sense of community are better, served by boards and sites like (you know it). Having said that, some of the "Right Ladies" have read the blog, and I dare say it did contribute to some of my Quality Dates.

A mentor/mentress for a Lady isnt that hard to find. Several of the Ladies I discussed it with were long-established and confident enough to take on that role.
The main tip to the debutante is to cast your net for information (and mentoring) as wide as possible, and to just ignore the bitching of the less-confident girls. Try to determine what kind of "market" you want to end up in, and direct your exposure (mentor, agent, pictures, web-listings, board-postings) towards that.
Starting off with a "good" agent can also help.

Like you, PC, I have often felt a bit lonely on the "client" side, and at some point, notably near end-2006, and I was tempted to accept invites for a coffee or to come to a party.

Altough most of them were undoubtedly well meant and genuine invites, I have, for reasons of agenda and caution, declined all but one of them.

Firstly, you dont really know what is behind an invite. There might be a journo or just an amateur camera lurking somewhere. And there were indeed some funny newspaper articles in the NE last summer...

Secondly, m8s today, rows tomorrow.
And I have indeed "fallen out" with some ladies, agents and board-posters that I used to trust 12 months ago. Some of the scene remains a bit shady, with lots of money, egos and interests intertwined.

In this discreet world, so much as a misplaced comma can be mis-interpreted and lead to all sort of nastyness. Not to mention personality-clashes, perceived fiefdoms, the odd un-verifiable accusation, and the wars over click-traffic from the advertizing boards.
It all leads to a funny scene, where I dont want to enter too deep.

Thirdly, remember that the "loneliness" you feel is partly Caused by reading boards and blogs. The act of Research and posting on boards lead you into some sort of "community". As a consequence, you feel tempted to go and meet the persons behind the posts in real life.

If you focus on finding and having good Meetings with the Ladies that fit you, you will discover that you can do without meeting the persons behind the posts/boards. Just "knowing" them on the net is enough.

For me, my "regulars" and the occasional new meeting, sometimes with a Lady that I've met purely via boards, is currently enough to alleviate the "loneliness".

(hm, thanks again, you may have given me material for "the loneliness of the long distance punter")