Sunday, 7 October 2007

Attitude is Everything.

Right. So last week I listed my 5-factors:

1. Mental connect. Spark.
2. Mutual enjoyment (Quality acting or Real Enjoyment)
3. Bedroom Mechanics, the PSE
4. Personality, Education, General background
5. Looks and physique.

The Key factors are 1 and 2. Together they determine "attitude".

My background kicks in.

I must refrain from turning this into an engineering or semi-mathematical modelling lecture. A meeting is after all just "A moment in time shared by two Humans, each with different backgrounds and mental states at that particular point".
And we understand far too little of bio-chemicals and psychology to be able to analyze as if it were lockpicking (hm...).

Enough digression, here are some of my thoughts and reasoning behind the first two.

1 - Mental, Personal Connect.

This is also the hardest to define.

Timing: Immediate.
With all Top-Quality dates, I knew I had a Winner in the first 60 seconds or less.

Description: Difficult.
Too difficult to describe. But this is not about immediate full-on snogging, not about acting (or even being) a desperately-hot-slut-in-need-of-C*. Those are nice, but no guarantee for top-notch dates. Nor is it about wittyness or knowing Shakespeare, citing Mark Twain or Monty Python. And not about display of profound knowledge about French cheese or Italian wine. It is much more subtle.

Probably both mental and biochemical factors come into play.

Suffice to say that this crazy thing called "Love" and its impact has inspired, engergized, and often destroyed many Artists and countless normal human beings.
I cannot begin to understand it. Should stop trying. NOW.

2 - Mutual enjoyment - quality of acting or even real enjoyment.

Timing: Within 10-20 minutes.
Although this tends to show up more clearly over time, it can mostly be established on the first date, but sometimes it only becomes clear on subsequent meetings.

Some Ladies seem to genuinly enjoy meeting a customer. Those tend to unfreeze and open up in the first 20 minutes, allthough Some need more time to grow confident and to relax. From that point on, the meeting can just flow naturally.

Generally, this item goes well with the more life-experienced, confident Ladies. Those who know what to expect, know what to do, and know how to benefit from the encounter themselves. Part-time Ladies, who escort just for kicks, for fun, are the best in this department.
This is why Yummi-mummies and MILF type Ladies are my favorites. They tend to come in cautious but they are curious and rapidly at ease, confident that they can handle you. Some are beaming with anticipation and all enjoy the power of pleasure that they yield. They might feel flattered by the attention they get, and they definitely intend to Enjoy themselves while providing a "service".

Factors 1 and 2 together determine the "attitude" both participants will display during the meeting. These factors are by far the most important when meeting a date.

It also leads to the conclusion that the success of a meeting is largely determined in the first 20 minutes (I just realized that now, and it make me think... 30 min bookings were never my thing but... It wouldnt work: too much pressure. And it wouldnt be fair on the Lady).

I think this "attitude" thing is very hard to fake, but I can of course never be sure (consider link to mind-game, or seduction). When she is "genuine", or a Very Good actress, there will be no trace of acting, no forcedness, no betraying gestures or remarks.

If she is a good actress, there may be small signs, so insignificant that I can completely ignore the signs and still Truly Enjoy.

With the average or below-average actresses, I am now (bragging to be) experienced enough to make the most of just about any female company, as long as she comes to see me with good, friendly and positive intentions.

On a few occasions (I recall three), I spotted the Nervousness of the girl, but also noticed her potential. In those very rare cases I've been known, early on in the date, to spontaneously extend the time with 30 or 60 minutes to show her my appreciation and my confidence in her (slightly unfair om my part because depending on my budget for that month!). In all three cases, this has worked wonders, and two of those are still Solid Regulars.
Scam-artists be ware: I only do this if item-1 (mental) is a 100% match.

Of course, I would be lying if I said that the other items such as "Bedroom Mechanics", "Background" and "Looks" were totally irrelevant. However, for me, they first two Really Count. And over-emphasis on the factors 3, 4 or 5 easily leads to a turn-off for one of the participants.

To Be continued... (only if somebody is actually interested).


Anonymous said...

I'm not sure I would be quite so scientific in separating these elements. There's no question that personality / attitude is the key but I think you're also talking about a first time meeting when something like 'education' will be hidden below the lady's ability to handle a difficult social circumstance. On the other hand, developing a relationship to be a more regular event does require some compatible bedroom chemistry which, if not present, will preclude further enjoyment.
Keep up the writing - it makes a refreshing change from all the newspaper stories about the business which focus exclusively on the streetwalker/trafficked lady and her travails.
Peter B

Ptr_leeds said...

Peter, Thanks for the Reality Check.

Newspapers and documentaries: there is so much out there. Let them write. Just dont believe anything said or written (I know that will include my writings) and double-check for yourself.

Streetscene: Never been there. I'm probably for suppressing that. Those girls need help, not business.
Trafficing/forced working: please report and crack down.
High-end stories like recently in NOTW [link?]: probably a wannabee-celeb. Cunning, and Well done on her part.
Belle-the-blog: believeable, but probably glamoured-up a bit. The series: even more glamour, but that is to be expected.

I am cynical enough to accept that some women will flirt/sleep/whore their way into security, into money or into a career in any business. Especially the celeb-, show- and model-scene. I dont mind too much, it is a darwanian mechanism. Abi Tittmuss is cunning and nice to look at. Let her have her moments. It is a difficult, risky and possibly dangerous way UP with self-destruction and burn-out just around the corner.
But so is the rest of the Rat-Race.

My own experiences with Escorts has been mostly Good, Quality dates. Research is Key.

As for "background",
Put it simply: Handling the "circumstances" will become part of our skillsets, Hers and mine. And I'm sure an Experienced, well mannered, educated Lady will find a way to handle me. I like to think I'm not that diffucult.

Possibly, for me and others, the Escorting scene is turning in to an efficient dating environment. With the advantages of initial anonymity (for both) and money-changing-hands (for the Lady). It takes the hassle out of finding a Lover, Mistress.

And I wouldnt be surprised if quite a few real-world relationships have grown out of repeat-escort dates. I am at risk of falling for a "regular", so being careful.

But the majority of Escort-dates should, in my rosy view, end up like most of mine:
A good meeting of consenting minds, where both parties benefit without hurting anyone.

Ptr_leeds said...

As a bonus to PeterB regarding "news stories":
This link" Shows how the punternet community sees NotW stories about unrealistically expensive "escorts".

I'll stay neutral, but will re-iterate Fox Mulder: Trust No One.

pcpro said...

The only comment I would make about an otherwise excellent piece is that personal preference has been allowed to creep into it. eg perfume and make up.

These blogs have given a lot of structure to my thoughts about QUALITY, for that I thank you very much and look forward to more.

As ever Ptr, keep it up! ;-)