Wednesday, 3 October 2007

How to find QUALITY dates

After the patronizing post on "The Right Lady - for the job" (almost a month ago, but it sparked some Lovely reactions, notably from Alexa who described The Ultimate Man.), it is now time for a different interpretation of TRL: how to find "The Right Lady - for a date."

There are several boards, public and closed, where clients (punters) publish their top-lists of Ladies. I have given in to the temptation to list (and brag) twice, and the list of reviews to the right of my blog is my third-time-sin moment, although it is not quite in order-of-preference.

These days, I rarely have "bad" dates, but I keep my top-list confidential. The re-invites (and their agents, sigh) know who they are. And I have a long list of must-see-again Ladies waiting. Not enough Budget and not enough Time!

But to stay on the topic of "The Right Lady", and rather then to name/shame/embarrass various Lovely Ladies I will list the Criteria that I found to be important.

This is not an "Invitation to Tender". A well known NE lady will now accuse me of publishing my "specifications". I will take that with the usual grain of salt. I adore the girl for her honesty and I respect her for her experience. She must be a very special experience but we have this agreement to never-ever meet one another (if you change your mind, drop me a message ;-...)

Here are the factors that, IMHO, determine the Quality of a date.

In order of importance, they are:
1. Mental connect. Spark.
2. Mutual enjoyment (Quality acting or real enjoyment)
3. Bedroom Mechanics, the PSE
4. Personality, Education, General background
5. Looks and physique.

Out of these factors, the first two are the most important. The 5th item, "looks", is only marginally important. To put it bluntly: I've seen several Ladies who would qualify as only marginally beautiful, but who were Top Quality Dates because they scored highly on 1, 2 and 3.

Items 2 and 3 reflect the fact that it is "only" a business transaction. I am after all first and foremost looking for a no-strings-attached moment of Fun.

I hesitated to put 4 (background, personality) before 5 (model-looks?), but decided that a "personality" is probably more of a turn-on then looks-alone. A Lady with a lot of personality is always automatically beautiful, whether she is an agile size 8 or a comfortable size 16.
Item 4 is also the most risky. I got dangerously close to some of the regulars, and despite the risk, I would not mind to stay in touch with them. They are quite interesting Personalities to talk/chat to.

Of course, I could not resist to elaborate, but after re-reading my "10-thousand words" on the topic, I decided to follow the advice of this NE Lady, and to cut back a bit.
Maybe Later.

Comments anyone ? Agreement ? Disagreement ?


SimplyAlexa said...

Ah my dear Ptr Leeds, you must be listening in on my thoughts…I would love it if my clients had chosen me on based on your factors! Any lady chosen with those criteria in mind should be lucky indeed; truly all qualities leading to the ultimate experience. Generic sex can be found anywhere for any price for any look, but the total experience is another story completely; hats off to you sir…this is flattery for any woman with brains under consideration of a client. #’s 1-5 all sum to deeper more meaningful fun and enjoyment; Quite envious over here for those ladies on your repeat list. ;-)

Bravo – tanti saluti …

Anonymous said...

Think you're bang on here, mate. I have frequently 'reviewed' ladies and commented that their enthusiasm, joie de vivre, call it whatever, more than makes up for any superficial 'lack' of beauty. It's like wathcing theatre - for a period of time both parties have to suspend belief.
Peter B

Ptr_leeds said...


Thanks for the complements.
I know I'm "Bang-on" m8 (no pun intended).
And so are you: Theater, acting, and the creation of the perfect illusion by collaboration of artist and maecenas all have something to do with it.

Alexa Bella,

Ascoltando, sto ascoltando.
Vostre scritture sobtili e eleganti mostrano vostri pensieri.
I am listening, my dear. Couldnt help to re-use a few phrases I overheard last week. But as a non-native student of the language I am never quite sure of those latin adjectives. Now if only I could also convey the gestures some of these people use while speaking.

*lifts hands, palms open upwards and inwards, first in gesture to ask for help, but then higher, almost as if to cup...* (ooops, scusi ;-)

But what a great soundbite: "The Ultimate Experience".

Actually, the inspiration for the list came from a few Really good Meetings I recently had. One particular date with a regular resembled just that: "The Ultimate Experience", full marks in every category. And it left me completely Shattered. I felt like crying when she left. Even went on the (MSN) shoulder of a trusted, experienced Working Lady to get a reality-check.

I am still pondering on the further elaboration of the "Five Factors". Expect some ramblings soon-ish.

Just one more thing: the scale is not absolute. My "Ultimate Companion" may be a "complete dud" for someone else. This is one reason why I never write negative reviews: The Lady may have have Perfect Chemistry with someone else, or even at another point in time.

All humans are different, and have different preferences and needs. Hence, there is a huge personal, coincidental, factor when meeting someone.

Almost like real life eh ?

SimplyAlexa said...

Oh Mr. Leeds,

Sei adorabile. Veramente riesce parlare, scrivere quello che intendi dire…Bravissimo! Sono contenta che mi stai ascoltando perche credo che anche tu, sei uno di quei uomini tipi alla Alexa. ;-)) I must say however the Italian hand gestures…are something of an art in Italy…the blue bloods talk with very few gestures…refined when and if used and then the rest of the population uses a lovely melody of gestures to convey daily thoughts and occurrences…it is quite the theater. I am again, flattered you liked “The Ultimate Experience” as an idea, but then again, you inspire me to these thoughts so I must give credit where due! (Alexa, curtseys to Sig. Leeds)

Sei un anima in cerca di quella donna che ti puo nutrire, prendere cura di te, del tuo cuore, del tuo cervello e della tua anima…e vorrei essere di aiuto perche…non devi mai perdere la speranza…sei bello dentro…il tuo blog ci dimostra questa bellezza e sono convinta che tu troverai quello che cerchi! Abbi fede. Prima trovi te stesso, poi il resto ti trovera!

Abbracci! Ti aspetto per un café!


Ptr_leeds said...

Alexa Bella,

You do have a way with words, in whatever language (it is 23:00 out here, and it was a looong day).

That was very kind of you. I do feel like I'm searching for words a lot. Be careful not to read too much into them.

As for your final words: I think we should discuss over a good Espresso (Doppio!). We all have our chains and our struggles. I'm not ready to commit everything to paper yet. As for the Queste, fear not: I do not give up easily.

SimplyAlexa said... thinks..."do not read too much into them." easier said than done Mr. Leeds. ;-) I look at pieces and put them together, it is just the way I am made. :-))

Looking forward to this espresso...two or three. Always so very much to say and so little time.


PCPro said...

ciao Peter, fans from the great country I see!
I liked the post and agree with much of the criteria...however, whilst a woman need not be beautiful in the conventional sense, for me a physical attraction needs to be made before anything else falls into place. Superficial? Well maybe, not as much as you think. The spark though is vital though the education is not ... I have met many girls I can freely converse with who are not graduates like myself.
Great site by the way, looking forward to reading more soon.

Ptr_leeds said...

Hi PC,
Grazie mille for stopping by.
I do agree that there has to be a minimum of physical attraction. And there almost always is.
The Lady has, at some point, posed for "acceptable" pictures, so you do get some idea. But for me, after some "minimum", the attraction doesnt come from the physical, but rather from the emotional connection.
Cheers to you to, and all the best for the new Year.