Will you Behave!
And no, I dont want to be licked there either, not in public at least.
*ptr runs to hide inside the shirts-dept of Harvey Nichols (Leeds) while Livvy returns to the toys-dept to dress up*
*after adjusting clothes back to normal*
Livvy wanted me to prepare for Halloween as she could be one of the surprise-trick-treats knocking on the door (bell, actually) of my Leeds-pad.
Well, I thought I'd dress up the front-porch (eh, the hallway of the building) with a proper traditional Pumpkin:
And in true Livvy-style, the pumpkin is (c)lick-able.
Happy Halloween Everybody!
Wednesday, 31 October 2007
Sunday, 21 October 2007
Breaking News Indeed.
Olivia, our multi-lingual, multi-talented English Courtesan (from Yorkshire) got Interviewed. And Printed!
Go and have a look a the results Here in Good Magazine.
Also note the Context, the type of magazine...
The Actual Lady can be found via Her own blog where she gives "her version" of the interview.
I can see her dancing around the table, whoooooping and EEEE-ing right now.
Go and pay your respects, and join in the discussion at her Blog.
Tuesday, 16 October 2007
Don't Count on it.
This topic is not what you think.
Virgin refers to the Train.
Train time is "meditation time". Any work done is a bonus, but should not ever be counted on. Over time, I have collected a nice set of anecdotes from train-journeys, some of which are documented on here, and some are told elsewhere [link to NEE or X-N].
This time, I was lucky - in a twisted way. My presentation and story for the oncoming day was done. I just tried to view it once more. 23 slides, should be OK for a short hour introduction.
I had half-n-half planned to write a report (yep, if you'r reading...) but this train was a bit too busy for that. Too much "viewers". So I decided to write this instead.
It was going to be one of those journeys.
First leg of the journey. 3 of the four seats on our table were taken and my seat was window. To my Right was one of these Heffalumps... She was Massive. So massive as I thought only Americans could be.
It was a miracle I could still fit in between her and the window. and every time she moved, I got gently squeezed further up against the window.
I had the benefit of watching the movie on her (equally fat) laptop (no sound though, as I didnt have the balls to ask her for an earplug). She has now just left the train. Two more hours to go, and we are delayed by about 20 min.
But Why put this rant on Ptr in WL ?
Oh Irnoy: She was watching the movie "Working Girl".
Wednesday, 10 October 2007
After listing the 5 factors, and the fluffy words to describe the most important (and hardest to define) "attitude factors", I will now bother you with my opinion on the remaining factors: PSE, Background and "Looks",
3 - Bedroom mechanics, techniques, initiative.
Some will (correctly) call this the PSE aspect of the date.
Timing: Generally established during first meeting.
To put it bluntly: Ladies with a high "score" on this item are generally Excellent Shags. They know how to heat up the atmosphere and how to keep the meeting going. It is here that the practical experience, technique and fitness of the girl come into play.
Note: I've had a few ladies (all "experienced professionals") who scored Top-Marks in this dept, but because items 1 and 2 were only average, they didn't make it into the return-visit-list (not yet anyway). Personally, I am not looking solely for what some dub as the "PSE", the Porn Star Experience. However, the bedroom action is an important part of the date, to me as well as to others. And I imagine there is a huge punter-community out there that is looking for exactly this and only this.
4 - Background: Job, Education and Manners.
Timing: Generally established on first meeting, but the impression can develop over time. Depends on how much time we can devote to "Chat". Some of the Really Good ones do not devote too much time to talk on the first meeting, eager to get down to business. But Manners and general behavior generally show.
This aspect is less Important than I first thought it would be, but there are a few remarks I want to make. And please note that I don't want to be disrespectful, just stating my impressions.
Behavior, Respect and manners are more important then GPA, degree or accent.
My top-dates all have a regular job (or believably claim to). They are a mixture of (supposedly) Uni-graduates and slightly less educated Ladies but they all have a regular job. The distinguishing factor is not Education or Grades, but rather having experience in a regular (non-escorting) occupation seems to be an important factor.
Full-time professional escorts, especially those who climbed up via the greasy parlour-scene and those who "'aave seen it all luv - that's 13 years I'm shaggin fellas for a livin" can be a bit over-confident. That routine reflects on the manners and gives a "conveyor belt" image. (But I've seen some good exceptions too).
The actual "level" of any job she holds is less important than the fact that the Lady is holding on to one. She keeps a grounding in real life.
Admittedly, a Truly Hot meeting with someone of whom you suspect that she really is (or could be) in charge of a large department can be a bit of a turn-on. Convincing signs of international experience are also exciting. In one case, The Lady and myself had worked in the same US city for a period. Nice memories.
If anything, Ladies with a background in a "caring profession" (nurses!) tend to be really good Dates. "Office ladettes" can be surprisingly horny, but some are also professional cheery-mannerism-actors. Ladies with either a Sales/Marketing or a (fashion?) Retail background generally score high as well, but those are most prone to "professional acting".
Since salespersons tend to employ Every Trick in the Book (and sometimes every ounce in the Bra) they generally provide Very Good, enjoyable Acting.
I also cannot resist to chop in this link to Nia about Marketing and Prostitution.
Admittedly, my day-job does give me a certain negative view of suppliers, vendors and salespeople. If you think agency-sites contain distorted truths and tweaked pictures, wait until you have to deal with real-world suppliers who market themselves as "partners".
The one "profession" I hesitate about is "full time student". The younger, well educated and well-mannered students tend to be a bit awkward on the job. Possibly because the age-difference with me, a 42 year old geezer, is too
large to bridge, possibly because they lack the raw-life experience that office-ladettes and other girls have gone through.
5 - looks and physique.
Timing: Established from pictures (unreliable!) and during first meeting.
This is the least important factor.
However, basic, essential personal care and hygiene are high on the list.
Too-messy, unkempt hairdos are a turnoff, at least to me.
Badly applied or over-done makeup is a nono (lipstick!).
Big Hair and earrings are not practical. And earrings get lost (...)
If I smell Body Odor it can take a real effort of will to approach the Lady, but funny enough, some of the less penetrating odors are a turn-on.... Biology?
Too much PERFUME is a BIG NO. It leaves a smell afterwards, and most of these fragrances have a horrible taste (so Please Don't apply on Cleavage or other areas where a guy is likely to put his tongue).
As for shapes and sizes, I'm fairly liberal. I like a certain comfortable curvyness, but I've successfully seen Ladies varied from 4'6" to about 6'2", and dress-sizes ranging from a small 8 to a listed 16 (possibly even a bit bigger LOL - but Great Attitude). A certain physical fitness is appreciated, and can actually help the Lady (and me) to enjoy the date better.
Well, There you have it. My "Factors that Make a Date".
Sometimes you meet someone who has Top-Marks in each category, and with some of my regulars, I think I have come close to "The Ultimate Experience" (hm, later...).
Lovemaking (apologies for the word) with someone who Matches well can becomes something of a Spiritual, Religious Experience. And the resulting Afterglow is first unbelievable, and then, when it ebbs away, creates this Craving, this renewed Desire... (where is my Calendar, where is my mobile)
Next I want to examine why "Regulars" are Brilliant (I am trending toward seeing fewer Ladies, more repeat bookings) but why there is also the need for "Fresh Dates" from time to time. (this is where the male in me shows his bad, unfaithful character...)
Sunday, 7 October 2007
Right. So last week I listed my 5-factors:
1. Mental connect. Spark.
2. Mutual enjoyment (Quality acting or Real Enjoyment)
3. Bedroom Mechanics, the PSE
4. Personality, Education, General background
5. Looks and physique.
The Key factors are 1 and 2. Together they determine "attitude".
My background kicks in.
I must refrain from turning this into an engineering or semi-mathematical modelling lecture. A meeting is after all just "A moment in time shared by two Humans, each with different backgrounds and mental states at that particular point".
And we understand far too little of bio-chemicals and psychology to be able to analyze as if it were lockpicking (hm...).
Enough digression, here are some of my thoughts and reasoning behind the first two.
1 - Mental, Personal Connect.
This is ALL IMPORTANT.
This is also the hardest to define.
With all Top-Quality dates, I knew I had a Winner in the first 60 seconds or less.
Too difficult to describe. But this is not about immediate full-on snogging, not about acting (or even being) a desperately-hot-slut-in-need-of-C*. Those are nice, but no guarantee for top-notch dates. Nor is it about wittyness or knowing Shakespeare, citing Mark Twain or Monty Python. And not about display of profound knowledge about French cheese or Italian wine. It is much more subtle.
Probably both mental and biochemical factors come into play.
Suffice to say that this crazy thing called "Love" and its impact has inspired, engergized, and often destroyed many Artists and countless normal human beings.
I cannot begin to understand it. Should stop trying. NOW.
2 - Mutual enjoyment - quality of acting or even real enjoyment.
Timing: Within 10-20 minutes.
Although this tends to show up more clearly over time, it can mostly be established on the first date, but sometimes it only becomes clear on subsequent meetings.
Some Ladies seem to genuinly enjoy meeting a customer. Those tend to unfreeze and open up in the first 20 minutes, allthough Some need more time to grow confident and to relax. From that point on, the meeting can just flow naturally.
Generally, this item goes well with the more life-experienced, confident Ladies. Those who know what to expect, know what to do, and know how to benefit from the encounter themselves. Part-time Ladies, who escort just for kicks, for fun, are the best in this department.
This is why Yummi-mummies and MILF type Ladies are my favorites. They tend to come in cautious but they are curious and rapidly at ease, confident that they can handle you. Some are beaming with anticipation and all enjoy the power of pleasure that they yield. They might feel flattered by the attention they get, and they definitely intend to Enjoy themselves while providing a "service".
Factors 1 and 2 together determine the "attitude" both participants will display during the meeting. These factors are by far the most important when meeting a date.
It also leads to the conclusion that the success of a meeting is largely determined in the first 20 minutes (I just realized that now, and it make me think... 30 min bookings were never my thing but... It wouldnt work: too much pressure. And it wouldnt be fair on the Lady).
I think this "attitude" thing is very hard to fake, but I can of course never be sure (consider link to mind-game, or seduction). When she is "genuine", or a Very Good actress, there will be no trace of acting, no forcedness, no betraying gestures or remarks.
If she is a good actress, there may be small signs, so insignificant that I can completely ignore the signs and still Truly Enjoy.
With the average or below-average actresses, I am now (bragging to be) experienced enough to make the most of just about any female company, as long as she comes to see me with good, friendly and positive intentions.
On a few occasions (I recall three), I spotted the Nervousness of the girl, but also noticed her potential. In those very rare cases I've been known, early on in the date, to spontaneously extend the time with 30 or 60 minutes to show her my appreciation and my confidence in her (slightly unfair om my part because depending on my budget for that month!). In all three cases, this has worked wonders, and two of those are still Solid Regulars.
Scam-artists be ware: I only do this if item-1 (mental) is a 100% match.
Of course, I would be lying if I said that the other items such as "Bedroom Mechanics", "Background" and "Looks" were totally irrelevant. However, for me, they first two Really Count. And over-emphasis on the factors 3, 4 or 5 easily leads to a turn-off for one of the participants.
To Be continued... (only if somebody is actually interested).
Friday, 5 October 2007
Trains. Just my Luck.
There were some memorable train journeys on both GNER [link dead?], Virgin and on several Eurostar and TGV lines (not published yet). And last week, doing way too much train-time, I was lucky again (no, not what you perverts think).
This train was slightly delayed due to weather, and the carriage was rather full. But I still had a 4 person table for myself (I can look really Nasty, Foreign and garlic-Smelly). [image of SDF?]
Then, at a particular small university town, at approx 17:00, a large crowd was waiting. Funny enough, half or more of the crowd were Real Beauties. Hence my hope for some eye-candy, maybe a chance to put my accent to some good conversational use, pick up a bit of youth-slang ....
But no ... all the beauty passed me by, none even deigning to look. Until, that is, a rolling 20+, size-16-38c with unkept hair and bad-fitting garments slowed her effortful paces even more, looked at me in utter contempt, breathed heavily once more, and used her equally large handbag to take possession of the seats opposite me.
And while the big but not-very-bb young woman huffed and squeezed herself into the seat opposite me, I saw the mocking, sparkling blue eyes of the Perfect GND[link to abbrev] diagonally opposite me where She gracefully sat herself down. Two unsurmountable seats too early.
The image of perfection fixed my gaze for a brief moment before I looked away and tried to say something polite to the girl (trying not to talk to her handbag) who had just taken possession of the both seats opposite me.
Luckily, the owner of the handbag was able to hold a reasonable conversation, and we got to chat a little before she occupied herself with her mobile. She was able to play/text/tweak her phone for the full two hours of the trip.
Now for the good part:
Throughout the journey, the lovely blue-eyed blonde made eye-contact many times. She never read the book she elegantly held in her lap, she did not thumb her her phone,
nor did she play with her long, naturally (or very well done) curly hair. She never inspected her nails and if she had used any makeup, it was done very skillful and discrete.
She just sat there, staring dreamily ahead. She just moved her head slightly every now and then. Looking up, looking sideways, looking ... At ME ????
I desperately tried to do something sensible on my laptop (ended up making these notes), but every time I looked Her way, she immediately sensed it and looked back. No expression, just looking.
We kept locked-eyes longer on each occasion. I tried very hard not to smile, and she had admirable control over her own facial expression. Apart from her eyes, she hardly moved, but I'm sure she was making silent fun of me. She could out-stare me at each occasion. At one point, I counted to 49 (seconds?) before she blinked, and I looked away. The people around us must have sensed the tension, but everybody
kept perfect innocent postures. Were they blind ? embarrassed ? or just british-reserved-polite ?
This Blonde was not "blonde" at all, and she really was a Natural Beauty. Very very lovely. With a Sweet innocent face, beautiful chin, tender, vulnerable neckline, but no visible cleavage. Approximately a size-8-32b, with perfect posture and attitude.
Her gestures were minimal, distinguished and controlled (rubbing a lotion on her hands?) and she had a neutral (or just slightly mocking) expression on her face.
With stares that soft and long, She probably knew her own powers all too well.
She must have had a great time teasing that raunchy foreigner with the laptop.
Punline: No Pun Really. She had to get out one stop before me.
Whoever you were: Thanks You! You made my Day.
Wednesday, 3 October 2007
After the patronizing post on "The Right Lady - for the job" (almost a month ago, but it sparked some Lovely reactions, notably from Alexa who described The Ultimate Man.), it is now time for a different interpretation of TRL: how to find "The Right Lady - for a date."
There are several boards, public and closed, where clients (punters) publish their top-lists of Ladies. I have given in to the temptation to list (and brag) twice, and the list of reviews to the right of my blog is my third-time-sin moment, although it is not quite in order-of-preference.
These days, I rarely have "bad" dates, but I keep my top-list confidential. The re-invites (and their agents, sigh) know who they are. And I have a long list of must-see-again Ladies waiting. Not enough Budget and not enough Time!
But to stay on the topic of "The Right Lady", and rather then to name/shame/embarrass various Lovely Ladies I will list the Criteria that I found to be important.
This is not an "Invitation to Tender". A well known NE lady will now accuse me of publishing my "specifications". I will take that with the usual grain of salt. I adore the girl for her honesty and I respect her for her experience. She must be a very special experience but we have this agreement to never-ever meet one another (if you change your mind, drop me a message ;-...)
Here are the factors that, IMHO, determine the Quality of a date.
In order of importance, they are:
1. Mental connect. Spark.
2. Mutual enjoyment (Quality acting or real enjoyment)
3. Bedroom Mechanics, the PSE
4. Personality, Education, General background
5. Looks and physique.
Out of these factors, the first two are the most important. The 5th item, "looks", is only marginally important. To put it bluntly: I've seen several Ladies who would qualify as only marginally beautiful, but who were Top Quality Dates because they scored highly on 1, 2 and 3.
Items 2 and 3 reflect the fact that it is "only" a business transaction. I am after all first and foremost looking for a no-strings-attached moment of Fun.
I hesitated to put 4 (background, personality) before 5 (model-looks?), but decided that a "personality" is probably more of a turn-on then looks-alone. A Lady with a lot of personality is always automatically beautiful, whether she is an agile size 8 or a comfortable size 16.
Item 4 is also the most risky. I got dangerously close to some of the regulars, and despite the risk, I would not mind to stay in touch with them. They are quite interesting Personalities to talk/chat to.
Of course, I could not resist to elaborate, but after re-reading my "10-thousand words" on the topic, I decided to follow the advice of this NE Lady, and to cut back a bit.
Comments anyone ? Agreement ? Disagreement ?